Barbarian (Spoilers)

Believe it or not, I am often at a.loss for words when a movie is bad. Barbarian is definitely an exception. Initially, I thought this would be the single-most-difficult review I have written, but felt it absolutely necessary for me to at least try. Here goes nothing ... or something ...

The opening of the movie gave me the same eerie and mysterious vibes I got from the trailers. Right out of the gates, the tone felt exactly like the movie the advertisements had convinced me I would see.  The tone was definitely the same and they all made you wonder about the role that Bill would be playing. I was still trying to figure out how I was going to react to a film that could potentially turn my boy (Bill Skarsgard) into some kind of creep or predator. I was prepared to cheer him on whether he turned out to be a bad guy or not, but I was certainly hoping they wouldn't turn him into some despicable or reprehensible character. I felt so much tension and was on the edge of my seat just waiting to see the horror that was hidden behind the door to that little AirBnB. Sadly, it was worse than anything I had conjured up in my brain.

In the middle of the night, a sleeping Keith (Skarsgard) gets a visitor at his tiny little AirBnB. Tess (Campbell) arrives by GPS to the destination and attempts to enter her pin into the lockbox at the door, but is unsuccessful. She calls the agency that she booked the AirBnB through, but at one point a half-asleep Keith opens the door. The two spend several minutes going back and forth over who is supposed to be renting the house for the night when they both finally realize it must be the booking agents error and that they are, in fact, double-booked. Keith finally requests that Tess come inside. She was reluctant, but finally agrees to enter the house. This is actually a complaint I hear across the board. People have stated over and over again that they would not have entered the house. Nope. Nuh-uh. Never! Well, I would have and I am not just saying that because I am in love with Bill Skarsgard. Okay, maybe partially because of that. I say it because Tess really didn't appear to have any other viable options at the moment. The weather was bad and Keith implied that it wasn't the safest area.

Once inside, Tess continues to doubt that she can trust Keith and remains very suspicious of his motives. I think in this particular situation it is a legitimate mindset, but Keith honestly does not ever give her a reason to doubt him. Keith actually puts a lot of effort into proving he is trustworthy and a couple of times her suspicion is disrespectful. I realize this has a lot to do with my love for Bill as an actor, but even without that being a factor - she does gives off a heavy bitch vibe several times even though he was being very forthcoming and straight forward. He was a complete gentleman and because he was such a gentleman from very early on, I would have probably had a hard time refraining from flirting with him. Not Tess. Nope. She wasn't buying a single thread of his brand of nice.

Tess decides that Keith can have the AirBnB but she needs to find a hotel. Keith informs Tess that there is a medical conference/convention in town and that all of the hotels are booked. Highly unbelievable, but okay. I realize this is a movie (some would clarify - a HORROR movie - like that justifies plot unbelievability). I know we, as viewers, don't have to be completely pinned to reality. In fact, I'd go so far to say that is one of the joys of movie watching, but this excuse might have been a little easier to swallow if the location was somewhere more rural/small and NOT in Detroit. Come on?? No medical convention [on earth] is going to book up all the hotels. None. I was a nurse for over a decade and I assure you ,,, that is crazy talk. So, in this case (for me anyway) it would have helped a little more to not be so damn pretentious. I digress. I guess in hindsight, it was a definite sign of how ridiculous this movie would get and only a teeny-tiny dose of how far from reality we were about to go. The conversation continues, Tess and Keith spend quite a bit of time getting to know one another. Tess eventually loosens up a bit, but not enough to accept a glass of wine from Keith. Insert major eye roll here. After the chain of events this girl just went through, a glass of wine would have been a warm welcome in the REAL WORLD. Again, not just because I love Bill. Well, maybe a little.

Keith tells Tess she can have the bed and he will take the couch, but Tess has a "thing" about clean sheets and refuses to sleep in the bed after Keith had already been using it. So, Keith offers to wash the linens and that is actually the moment Keith offers the wine. The two had a couple of hours to wait before the bed linens would be finished washing and drying and Keith was simply trying to break the ice to help Tess relax. We all know the story about getting drugged and many excuse her for not accepting the unopened bottle of wine, but let's face it, if a stranger wanted to drug you - he would find a way. You're already in the house with him ... drink the dang wine!

Finally, Keith and Tess call it a night. They both have appointments the next day and need to get up early. Tess is going to the city the next morning for an interview and she only has a few hours before daylight. Shortly after she falls asleep, "something" goes bump in the night. At first she believes that Keith is playing some sort of shenanigans, but quickly discovers Keith in deep REM and having what appears to be a nightmare. Again, not knowing what to expect out of this movie, I am still suspicious that something sinister is about to be revealed about Keith. Still on the edge of my seat .... I wait and wait. Nothing else happens, they both go back to sleep, and everyone goes about their business the next morning.

The story goes from a legitimately creepy and convincing story to an implausible plot and it goes there very quickly! I won't spoil anything from here, but soon after Keith enters the basement, the movie goes into its second act. From there you meet AJ (Justin Long). I have always enjoyed Justin as an actor and he tends to always bring humor to all of his roles. In fact, this would be no exception. He delivers some of the funniest moments in the entire movie. But wait ... this is supposed to be a horror movie. A creepy horror movie ... not a comedy horror? Nowhere in the trailers or description did it indicate that this would be comical or cheesy? A lot of people were aware of the director's previous work, but I was NOT one of those individuals. I did not know what this guy consisted of and had ZERO familiarity with him/his work. Most of the time, it my preference to keep movies that way. Especially movies created by someone I unfamiliar with. I have never seen or heard of any of his work. Doing this, helps me go into the film without 'much' of a preconceived opinion. Every now and then that turns out to be a huge mistake. "Every now and then" happened for me with Barbarian. 

After a few extremely funny scenes involving Justin Long's character with a tape measurer ... the second act in the movie goes from comical, to disappointing, to just plain ludicrous.  And it goes there ... fast, I 'get' that Cregger was not going for a cookie cutter horror film with this movie, but there is a difference between being a step ahead of your audience and just flat out deceiving it. When you shift tones, it should be for a greater purpose than just doing it for the sake of trying to keep your viewers from being able to figure out where you're taking the story. You must maintain some level of honesty and integrity. Once the plot thickens and the story is revealed, it needs to be justifiable. I don't care if you loved the movie or not, there is no justification here. The three acts could potentially make for really great stories/movies on their own - but tied together so loosely (like a four year olds first attempt to tie their own shoe laces), just doesn't hold it all together very well. By very well ... I mean NOT AT ALL!

The "thing" that lurks below ... okay ... okay ... whatever. THAT is what we waited to discover? THAT!?? I rolled my eyes and said, "OH. MY. GOD." about forty times. Movies have gotten so bad that I quite literally slap my forehead these days and this one caused one helluva red forehead. Just when I thought it couldn't get any more goofy ... you guessed it. It DID!

At that point, I am so pissed off that I couldn't even laugh anymore. All I could do is repeat to myself over and over ... WHY!??? HOW!!??? Nothing adds up. I couldn't make it add up or forgive it even if I had gone into this film expecting it to be suspended so ridiculoualy far from reality.

Bill Skarsgard should be ashamed of himself. I still love him, but dang! He should be ASHAMED!!!! haha

The thing that lurks below is far, far, far from realistic and completely implausible. I am still scratching my head and admittedly still a little pissed off. The only difference is that now I am able to laugh a little about the second and third act. Just a little though. The disappointment far outweighs the laughter. This could have been EV-ER-Y-TH-IN-G!!!!!!

It has more to do with the fact that Cregger really had it there for minute and he decided that rather than keep that genuinely mysterious, tense, creepy, and dreadful vibe, he would rather stop that energy DEAD IN ITS TRACKS and just go for the most far fetched, extreme, and implausible direction he could possibly take. For what? I will tell you what it was for ... to be the most SHOCKING film he could give you! Quality no longer mattered, because one way or another Cregger was going to have people talking about this one. WELL ... without question, he accomplished that! And surprisingly he was also successful in gaining a massive fan base for this film. THAT still baffles me, but it goes to show how diverse and how forgiving we (the viewers) can be. I always see comments on social media and youtube about horror fans wanting filmmakers to take them seriously and stop copping out. They discredit a lot of movies because they feel like it was "lazy" or that the creators tried to "deceive" them. Ummmmmmmmmmm, isn't that exactly what happened here? Oh! Wait a minute ... Is it okay to be those things to happen sometimes? Does it just depend on your mood or which movie it is used in? Halloween Ends got so much shit for waiting to introduce Corey until the third installment in the trilogy. The fans said, "you can't introduce such an important/pivotal character in the very last film of the trilogy." YET, we can introduce essentially three different major characters in the second and third act of the SAME film and it is HYPED as one of the greatest modern horror movies of our time!?